For one whole season now, I've been exploring what it looks like and means to me when I centre my needs (physical, spiritual, mental, & emotional) before attending to other people's needs first. It's been a difficult transition, as I grew up in & was educated in a social system and was taught by my main caregiver (like it was taught to them) to prioritize other people's needs before my own. The gradual shift towards choosing to respect and meet my needs first, has brought me on a journey where I now know how to consciously relax my body (when I sense I am in a safe environment); where I now know why certain environments feel too much and overwhelming for me; where I now know where I start and end and where others begin; where I can tell when I am getting too cold, too hot, too hungry or too tired; where I can tell what emotions are arising from within me & hold them in their truth, and where I now know why I struggled so much growing up.
I did not get here overnight by myself, but was helped by many teachers and fellow students who shared their stories and experiences with me, and through exploring embodiment practices like being in nature, walking my dogs, gardening & making/eating yummy food, yoga, karate, tai chi, camping, canoeing/kayaking/SUPing, qi gong and many other activities that allowed me to get out of my head and return to my body and connect to the world that exists outside of my pain & chaos. These days being gentle with my self means that I prioritize my sleep, quiet time and taking multiple rest/pleasure breaks throughout my day, eating seasonal foods that make my body feel good, getting fresh air & sunshine (even the liquid kind), beginning & ending my days by moving my body in novel ways, and communicating to myself and others what it is I need unapologetically. To do so means that I have to say no to a lot of people and social engagements, and that I let people down regularly who benefitted from my past "others first" orientation, but I'm finding more ease in my self, something that had always elluded me before I began centring my life around my needs.
If I could offer my younger self any advice, it would be: start small, and start now. Even if it is one 5 minute walk in nature, one cycle of intentional breathing, one "no" to someone, or one 20 minute nap to rest your weary body. Try it and see how you feel and if you like it, keep going because just one drop will eventually lead to the bucket being full.
While I haven't done Tai Chi (or any martial arts) I do like Yoga! It's very similar in some ways, you get to move and meditate but not like a ton. I usually just do some stretches in the morning or afternoon as needed.
I used to be a competitive swimmer for my main exercise. I want to get back into it but I went through severe burnout and disinterest in it for a while, so I turned to like a mixture of yoga, walks, or muscle group days. I'll admit I don't exercise as much as I should but 😅 I feel like that's common. Thanks for sharing!
For one whole season now, I've been exploring what it looks like and means to me when I centre my needs (physical, spiritual, mental, & emotional) before attending to other people's needs first. It's been a difficult transition, as I grew up in & was educated in a social system and was taught by my main caregiver (like it was taught to them) to prioritize other people's needs before my own. The gradual shift towards choosing to respect and meet my needs first, has brought me on a journey where I now know how to consciously relax my body (when I sense I am in a safe environment); where I now know why certain environments feel too much and overwhelming for me; where I now know where I start and end and where others begin; where I can tell when I am getting too cold, too hot, too hungry or too tired; where I can tell what emotions are arising from within me & hold them in their truth, and where I now know why I struggled so much growing up.
I did not get here overnight by myself, but was helped by many teachers and fellow students who shared their stories and experiences with me, and through exploring embodiment practices like being in nature, walking my dogs, gardening & making/eating yummy food, yoga, karate, tai chi, camping, canoeing/kayaking/SUPing, qi gong and many other activities that allowed me to get out of my head and return to my body and connect to the world that exists outside of my pain & chaos. These days being gentle with my self means that I prioritize my sleep, quiet time and taking multiple rest/pleasure breaks throughout my day, eating seasonal foods that make my body feel good, getting fresh air & sunshine (even the liquid kind), beginning & ending my days by moving my body in novel ways, and communicating to myself and others what it is I need unapologetically. To do so means that I have to say no to a lot of people and social engagements, and that I let people down regularly who benefitted from my past "others first" orientation, but I'm finding more ease in my self, something that had always elluded me before I began centring my life around my needs.
If I could offer my younger self any advice, it would be: start small, and start now. Even if it is one 5 minute walk in nature, one cycle of intentional breathing, one "no" to someone, or one 20 minute nap to rest your weary body. Try it and see how you feel and if you like it, keep going because just one drop will eventually lead to the bucket being full.
Thank you for sharing your story, Cher. Very inspiring!
While I haven't done Tai Chi (or any martial arts) I do like Yoga! It's very similar in some ways, you get to move and meditate but not like a ton. I usually just do some stretches in the morning or afternoon as needed.
I used to be a competitive swimmer for my main exercise. I want to get back into it but I went through severe burnout and disinterest in it for a while, so I turned to like a mixture of yoga, walks, or muscle group days. I'll admit I don't exercise as much as I should but 😅 I feel like that's common. Thanks for sharing!
Exercising as much as we "should" looks different for everyone. Glad to find you've found what works for you!